Do Not Lie to Yourself: Interview with Lee Schwartz, Author of Raising Giants: My Extraordinary Journey with TWO NFL Sons

I recently went one-on-one with Lee Schwartz, author of Raising Giants: My Extraordinary Journey with TWO NFL Sons.

Adam: Thanks again for taking the time to share your best lessons and advice. First things first, though, I am sure readers would love to learn more about you. How did you get here?

Lee: I spent the first five years of my life on a chicken farm.  Little did I know then that I would raise two mutant studs who would ultimately enjoy successful careers on the NFL gridiron. I began the Schwartz family’s athletic legacy, lacing up baseball cleats around seven or eight years old while also being a hoopster, careers lasting through high school.  Being the tallest on my middle school basketball teams, I had visions of continued growth and opportunities beyond high school.  Then reality set in.  My growth plates shut down.  I was suddenly looking up to fellow teammates.  My dreams were dashed.

In May of my freshman year at UCLA, I met the love of my life.  Livie and I dated exclusively through our time at UCLA, and in September of 1977, we tied the knot.  In 1986, Geoffrey popped out of the womb at 95% for height and weight.  Three years later, Mitchell followed suit.  They both began their athletic journeys sooner than their dad.  T-ball at five.  Hoops for Geoffrey at seven or eight.  I wasn’t about to watch from the sidelines.  From T-ball through Junior Division of Little League, I coached both boys. There were seasons when I coached both at the same time.  I also paced the basketball court sidelines, coaching Geoffrey in city recreational leagues.

Unlike their father, the boys continued to grow… and grow.  By high school, they were already huge.  And thus began their football careers, spanning college and eight-plus years respectively professionally.  All the while, I continued my softball and hoops activities in city and recreational leagues, while living vicariously through Geoffrey and Mitchell, including attending high school practices and games, traveling to all but two college games, and being in the stands for dozens of NFL contests.

Adam: What do you hope readers take away from your new book?

Lee: I believe there’s valuable messaging throughout the book, but to answer this question, let me focus on my “Playbook for Success – Seven Pillars for Building Champions” that appears early in the book.  These pillars, I believe, can “fundamentally help parents, and their aspiring athletes, better navigate their way through the challenges” that they will face on their journey. Here are a couple:

• Education is first, second… and last.  The chances that your offspring will succeed in life with a college degree are much greater than what sports can deliver. 
• It’s not about you, the parent.  Divorce yourself from your emotional baggage. Make decisions about them for them.

The other key message to take away for parents and aspiring athletes is that, for most, this isn’t a long-term gig.  The average career is 3.3-3.4 years.  They haven’t achieved generational wealth.  It’s imperative from the get-go that the athlete prepare for their next chapter.

Adam: What were the best lessons you learned from your experience helping your sons navigate the college recruiting process?

Lee: Do not attempt to journey on your own.  Similar to parenting, there are no courses for this journey.  Be objective and live in reality.  Seek outside support and input.  As I offered in the book, I had no clue what we were to face, so I consulted with coaches, those experienced with football and this process of recruiting, to give me direction. 

Adam: From what you have experienced and from what your sons have shared, what would surprise people about life in the NFL?

Lee: It’s not a game.  One chapter in the book is entitled, “Don’t Be Fooled – It Is a Business.”  It is a bottom-line business run by multi-millionaires/billionaires.  Decisions are made unemotionally as an intellectual exercise and not from the heart.

Adam: In your view, what does it take to make it in the NFL and to perform at a high level? 

Lee: It begins with one’s innate physical abilities.  Some are born athletes, others not.  If one doesn’t possess the needed genetics, then no matter what’s attempted, a life in the NFL isn’t a possibility.  It’s important that parents deal with the realities of their child’s abilities.

But if one is genetically predisposed, then what does it take to reach the NFL?  A commitment.  Hard work.  Supportive parents.  Good coaching.  Good fortune.  Once in the NFL, more of the same with recognition, it’s imperative to thoroughly prepare, to take care of one’s body, and to realize that there are no guarantees for your future.  There’s a saying, “The only day that a player is fully healthy is the day before they begin their summer camp.”  Health will certainly dictate one’s ability to perform at a high level and to have a lengthy career.

Adam: Who are the greatest coaches you spent time with and what did you learn from them?

Lee: I had one high school coach who made a big difference in my life.  7th-grade basketball.  Also, Bar Mitzvah lesson time.  Went to him to explain a conflict with practice and lessons.  Rather than being a hard ass, he told me that missing Tuesday practices would not jeopardize my standing on the team.  His compassion and understanding allowed me to remain involved in a sport that I loved.  As a sidebar, he and I have reconnected in the last two years and see each other regularly.

If I were to ask the boys this question, they would point to Andy Reid as being the coach they most appreciated.  From what I understand, he treats his players as adults.  Gives them direction, then steps back and lets them perform.

Adam: What do you believe are the defining qualities of an effective leader? How can leaders and aspiring leaders take their leadership skills to the next level?

Lee:

• Surround yourself with the best people possible.  I used to tell my employees that my goal was to have such a capable staff that I could walk away without the company skipping a beat.  
• Be honest and real with communications.  As a consultant, I worked with my clients on understanding the difference between confrontation and hard conversations.  There’s a big difference.  We all know the results of poor communication.
• Work hard, but more importantly, work smartly.  While Geoffrey and Mitchell worked their asses off to achieve their success, what stood them apart was their intelligence.

Adam: What is the single best piece of advice you have ever received?

Lee: For me, it was offered by my first boss in the corporate world.  As background, my first quarter at UCLA, I was enrolled in an English class known on campus as “English for Dummies”… this was obviously long before the book series “For Dummies” was ever a thing… and the professor made this message very clear.  I carried this stigma with me throughout my time at UCLA.  So when my boss asked me to write something for him, I balked.  “Can’t do so.”  But he wouldn’t accept that.  Sent me back to my office with directions to write.  After making multiple attempts to begin, each time ending with frustration and the sheet of paper crumpled and tossed in the trash can, I returned to my boss.  “I can’t do this.”

He patiently said, “But I can understand you very clearly when we talk, so go back and write like you talk.”  That advice opened up my world.  If not for that counsel, I doubt the book would have ever been written.

But the best advice I’ve ever heard came from Geoffrey’s high school coach.  During a film session, he offered, “Do not lie to yourself!”  Apparently, players weren’t taking responsibility for their on-field actions.  Film doesn’t lie.  If one made a mistake on the field, it’s front and center.  Take accountability for your actions.  Be honest with yourself.  Learn to accept feedback and use such to get better.